From the Annals of Too Much Free Time

Come these Cheez-it Coasters. I've never been big on Cheez-its, but if I were, I would absolutely spend the requisite time and money to make these babies. My coffee table is in terrible shape. (Thanks to EDAN! for the link!)

Wine for Less (or maybe a little bit more)

I really like red wine. A lot. Probably too much. I probably like red wine as much as I hate reggae, which is a whole hell of a lot. The other day I found myself contemplating how much money I spend per year on red wine. I stopped when I got to the monthly figure. I vowed to cut back. But it's funny how much one day and two really good bottles of wine can change things.

After my trip to Mozza last Friday, I had a craving for Montelpulciano Quattro Mani, and I knew that Silverlake Wine carried it (It was there that I first discovered it). Now, Quattro Mani isn't that expensive ($7.50 a bottle), but once I was at the store, I couldn't stop with just one wine. I started looking around at all these bottles, most of which I'd never seen before. I usually buy wine at Trader Joe's because their prices are reasonable, and their selection is decent. But the selection is still limited, and sometimes it can get to feel stifling, like these are the only wines in the world. I'd decided a while ago that I was through with the lowest tier of TJ's wine -- the Two Buck Chuck's and what not -- and I've never regretted that decision. Spending $7 on a bottle of wine at Trader Joe's provides exponentially more value than cheeping out on the lowest of the low. Still, there are only so many wines in the $6-$8 price range that are acceptable, especially once one accounts for taste. For instance, I don't like Beaujolais ("The wine for people who don't like drinking wine!"), and Edan isn't crazy about a lot French wines, like Cote-du-Rhone, etc. You can see how this could limiting.

At the wine store, however, I found a bunch of new, exciting wines I'd never heard of, never tasted for roughly what I was willing to pay. I picked up something called a "Bistro red," which was an everything but the kitchen sink blend, called Hey Mambo. With my bottle of Quattro Mani, the total price was $18.00. Which isn't that bad. And neither was Hey Mambo. (One odd thing about Hey Mambo -- it didn't have a cork, it didn't have a synthetic cork, and it wasn't a screwtop. What held the wine in? A zork. This is the future, people. Buy stock.)

Why have I gone on this tangent? Well, the New York Times posted a list of great wines for under $10 (Thanks to Lisa for the link!). I like their list, and I've had some of them, but I do have one recommendation. They ought to publish little thumbnails of the labels next to each wine. With some of the foreign wines (Uruguayan reds, anyone?), I have trouble even finding the name. A label would be helpful. Maybe that's just me.

More Links, More Problems

If there are links, it must be Tuesday:

• Middled may be a new blog, but it's finding its legs with this post about St. Louis' native pastry attraction, the gooey butter cake. I wish I could photograph as well as Ryan does. It's a talent. Also, having a digital camera that, you know, focuses must be nice.

• Anthony Bourdain posted his "Overrated Menu" over at Radar (Thanks to Max for the linkage):

  "Mesquite-grilled Amish organic free-range chicken, served with Fijian mango chutney and accompanied by foraged mushrooms: It should never take longer to describe your dish than to eat it. Mango chutney was innovative when Bobby Flay did it in 1978. Foraged mushrooms? Amish chicken? Who gives a shit about who picked the mushrooms or if the people who raised the chicken wear bonnets?"
  

• Here's my flash review of Pizzeria Mozza, Mario Batali and Nancy Silverton's mega-successful wood-fired pizza joint on Melrose: it's really good. Go try it. The fennel sausage pizza was divine (literally, otherworldly, supernatural), and the chicken liver, capers, parsley and guanciale bruschette keeps me up at nights. Also, they have one of my favorite cheap wines, Montelpulciano "Quattro Mani," available for a scant $7. Sit at the pizza bar, have some wine, and be thankful that Osteria Mozza opened, attracting all the celebrities, and opening up seats at the Pizzeria for you and me.
  

A Couple of Links for Monday Morning

Since it's Monday morning, and I worked Saturday, I needed a little something extra to get me up and moving. I figured a few quick links might be just the thing.

• Slate has a piece from Mike Steinberger about counterfeit wines, a growing problem and cause for concern amongst serious oenophiles. I felt pretty good about myself when I recognized most of the wineries he mentions in the article (Cheval Blanc, Petrus, Lefleur), but this feeling of pride dissipated as I remembered that I haven't tasted any of them. I recognize their names only because I moved hundreds of cases of fine wine last summer as part of an insane temp job (Buy me a glass of wine and I'll tell you about it sometime).
  Steinberger only briefly touches on what I think is the most interesting aspect of the story: wine-lovers' insecurities about their palettes. If they couldn't tell that the '47 Petrus they sipped was a fraud, what does it say about their supposed expertise?

• Ever wonder what those Beggin' Strips you give your dog taste like (or have you eaten them yourself)? The Sneeze is the source for all the foods about which you're curious, but wouldn't necessarily like to eat. Like pigs feet. And breast milk. (Thanks to Apronite Ryan for the link)

• I'm not sure what's going on in this picture, but I'm pretty sure Tommy Hottpants wore this to the last MisShapes party (Thanks to Apronite Doug for the link):

• Gordon Ramsey burned his balls. Hey Gordo, I feel you dawg. I don't mean that in a Randy Jackson sort of way, either.
  

Two Words: Um, Ewww.

Regular Apronites no doubt recall my fascination with fast food advertising. Well, last night I was watching a little MTV (reruns of "America's Next Top Model" are strangely soothing) when I saw this bad boy.



What the hell is that? Who thought this up? Did they really believe that this ad would make people want to eat this Oreo monstrosity? This is part of the new breed of fast food commercials that cast bland hipsters, and attempt to cash in on the last, agonizing death throes of irony. The girl who enters at the beginning of the commercial looks like she's wearing fake hair and might be in an Emo-core band. Meanwhile, the younger hipster guy has the same haircut Willie Aames rocked on "Eight is Enough."



And that white sauce they're drizzling over the top looks more than a little like semen. Good call, Dominoes advertising team! I'm starving for Oreo Dessert Pizza now.

In Case You're Bored with Me...

Our old friend, Ryan, who wrote about the many herring-based dishes of Russian cuisine for this blog, has started a new blog called Middled. Join him as he acclimates himself to life in the Midwest. Ryan is also looking for work, so help a brother out.

I Promise to be Better

I haven't posted anything since June (fabulous guest posters aside). I can't really say why. Could it be the distractions of baseball season? Maybe. Soul-crushing depression? Possibly. The fact that my computer died and it took me a few weeks to convince myself that buying a laptop was an absolute necessity? Perhaps. For whatever reason, I stopped writing. And I don't mean just this blog. I stopped writing everything. Screenplays, notes to friends, emails, grocery lists. Nothing. This must change. I will make it change. Thank you, Blogger, for not deleting my blog. Thank you, good reader, for occasionally checking here to see if I've returned. I hope this post finds you well. As an apology for my months of absence, I give you several flash reviews of restaurants I've been to recently:

Intelligentsia Coffee: Located in the Sunset Junction, near the fabulous Cheese Store of Silverlake, this is the first LA outpost of the Chicago-based coffee chain. I went to the kickoff party the night before Sunset Junction (What's that? No, no, I didn't go to Sunset Junction. Why? Because it's a huge, expensive, hot, waste of time.). The joint was packed, and the coffee was free. Each cup of roasted coffee is brewed fresh as you wait (It does take a minute), and it is good. They have different roasts or beans or what have you, and they treat coffee more or less like wine, talking about "hints of blueberry on the nose." The design of the shop itself is very hip, and there's plenty of outdoor seating. Try the Iced Angeleno, which Edan has been raving about ever since the opening.

Edendale Grill: My father-in-law took me there last Monday night, after four different restaurants were either closed or deemed unacceptable. Expensive drinks, but a pleasant patio, and good enough food. I wasn't floored by the beat salad or by my Shrimp, Asparagus, Artichoke Couscous. The calamari was good, and the atmosphere and pleasant ambiance will probably bring me back again, but it was far from a home run.

Cobras & Matadors (Los Feliz location): Just as good as the one on Beverly, with more seating and wine by the glass and bottle. I'm never leaving Los Feliz again.

Scoops: Bizzarro ice cream flavors abound at this cute little shop in a very weird area off Melrose Avenue. I had Vanilla Jim Beam (yum) and Brown Bread, which was exactly what it sounds like -- like eating a loaf of pumpernickel, yet strangely good. Edan had Spiced Cheddar, which was very good as a sample but cloying after a few bites, and Vegan Cinnamon Tiramisu, which was good.

Best Fish Taco in Ensenada: Strange fish taco stand operating out of a storefront on Hillhurst. They have three items on the menu: fish taco, shrimp taco, and drinks. Cheap and yummy, on all accounts. I got the spicy mango salsa, which tasted good, but which my body greeted roughly as it would a shot of petrol. The pleasant woman running the register waited a very long time before accepting our payment. She was seriously focused on her knitting. I can see myself eating many a lunch at this place.

Alegria on Sunset: Gourmet Mexican food, with many vegetarian options dished out in a cute, but unassuming location in a strip mall with a Baskin Robbins (Somebody really ought to write about how many totally ass-kicking strip mall restaurants there are in Los Angeles. Off the top of my head, I can think of Alegria, Cafe Suanomaluong, Carousel, and Zankou Chicken. Seriously, somebody get on this already). Our group shared potato tacos, which were good, and I had a steak dish, whose name I cannot recall. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't cheap, and as we were leaving, there seemed to be a substantial wait for tables. On a Monday night.