Rachel Ray -- Food Network personality, Bourdain bete noir, and minor irritant -- was attacked by a stray dog in Union Square Park while walking her pit-bull mix, Isaboo. Apparently the stray acted aggressively towards Isaboo (Seriously? Isaboo?), and when Ray stepped in to stop it, the stray took a bite out of her. Now, I'm no great fan of Rachel Ray; in fact, I think they use her show during interrogations in Guantanamo Bay. But I feel bad for her. I think getting attacked by a stray dog would be positively terrifying, and I hope it never happens to me. But I do have a few quick observations:
1. I hope Isaboo tore that dog apart when it went for poor Rachel. Otherwise, what kind of bitch-ass pit-bull lets its owner get attacked? Isn't that why you get a pit-bull in the first place? Unless that dog was a mastiff or an Akita (those things are badass), Isaboo should've been able to take him.
2. There's nothing worse than the yuppie pit-bull owner who insists that pit-bulls are "totally gentle and just misunderstood." Pit-bulls-are-totally-gentle-and-just-misunderstood-guy is my least favorite 21st century urban inhabitant. (And before you start telling me about how your family dog was a pit-bull mix and how it saved you from a fire and got you into Bucknell, save it. I like pit-bulls. Most of them are pretty sweet. I just don't like pit-bulls-are-totally-gentle-and-just-misunderstood-guy. Take your Jack Spade messenger bag and Kettle One vodka and go back to Park Slope.) I'd almost prefer the gangster who taught his pit bull to attack anybody wearing the color blue. Almost.